Tales of the Torturous Green Bean

9 Jan

I am exhausted, physically and mentally exhausted. 

Tonight, an inch long green bean threatened life as we know it.  Tonight, that bean trumped birthdays, angry birds, Dragonballz, 2nd grade and sanity.  Tonight, we met a new and worthy opponent in parenting – the green bean.

Here is my sad little tale of the almighty and torturous green little bean.

Although the end of the evening overshadows the afternoon, we actually had a lot of fun right after school.  For their activity today, with the help of servingpinklemonade.blogspot.com, I created a scavenger hunt for the kids.  Since Kennedy is just learning sight words, I used colors, shapes and letters for the list. 

Each of them, armed with a list, pencil, and pack to carry their items, scoured the house to find everything on their list.  They laughed and pranced around the house, carefully looking for each thing.  Kennedy taunted her brother early on, yelling, “Kole, you are going dooooowwwwnnn!”  And she backed up her smack by finishing about 3 minutes before Kole.  All was right with the world (mostly, we won’t talk about the minor fit the loser threw).

The tides began to turn the instant that the kids stepped into the kitchen for dinner.  I had prepared a ham and cheese casserole, courtesy of http://naptimejournal.blogspot.com.  It was super simple:

Bread, butter, diced ham, diced cheese covered with milk and eggs mixed together and baked for 50 minutes at 350. 


The real trouble started when I paired the casserole with grapes and <gulp> green beans.  The rules were that they each had to eat one green bean to leave the table (or breakfast bar) and to earn all of their points for the night, they had to eat all three.

Sweet Kinlee gobbled hers right up.

Miss Kennedy reluctantly added her bean to the casserole to disguise the taste.

Kole simply stated, “It’s not gonna happen.”  Once again, I told him he will sit there until he eats the green bean.  The first hour went by pretty uneventfully.  He just kept refusing to eat it and we refused to budge.  Then he looked at the clock about 6:20 and realized that he had not done his homework.  He began to freak out.  He said, ” I have a ton of homework and if I don’t finish it I will get my name on the board.”  I simply told him that he wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow if he hadn’t yet eaten his green bean.

He thought this might be fun.  Then I told him that I would be sending a note to his teacher and principal explaining the reason for his absence was his refusal to eat a tiny little green bean.  This also freaked him out.  There were tears, which was painful because Kole doesn’t really ever cry about anything.  Whine, yes.  Cry, no.  He kept staring at the bean.  He would look from me to it and back mumbling, ” I can’t do it, I can’t do it.”  He pleaded with his dad to no avail.  He begged for a pardon.  He said he hated the person who ever found the green bean. “It’s stinks, it tastes bad, it’s slop!” 

Once, I warmed it back up for him and tried to hide it in the casserole.  He began gagging before he even took a bite.  One of his tactics is always to throw up.  Parent of the year right hear, told him if he gags himself, no birthday party.    So, again, he refused to eat it.

More mumbling, more crying, more pleading (it was excruciating not to give in to him).  He made us laugh hysterically at him, he made us (or me) have tears and he made us extremely angry.  He said, “You know what, you are not my mom anymore.  If you make me eat this, you are not my mom.  I am calling you Jenni.  You like that, Jenni?”

At another point, soon after Jerry started letting Kennedy take one toy out of his room every ten minutes that he sat there, he completely lost it and started yelling, “That’s it!  It’s over.  It’s all over.  My life, my toys!  I can’t do my homework, I’ll get my name of the board everyday and I will not pass second grade!  It’s over!”

Jerry wanted to video tape this.  He thought this video would go viral on You Tube.  I thought it would just land us in hot water with DFS.

I don’t know how many times he begged us to stop torturing him.  I guess making him sit there and look at a green bean is considered torture, I don’t know.  I am too tired to know whether this was truely awful.  He’s probably going to need years of therapy all due to this freaking bean.

In the end, after 2 hours and 15 minutes of endless crying and staring the tiny bean down, he ate a little over half of it.  The world didn’t end, he didn’t turn green, or die from food poisoning and turns out he admitted that it wasn’t half bad. “That doesn’t mean that I am ever going to eat another one again, though!” 

 He conquered the bean.  It’s not over, his life and toys are still in tact.  He finished his homework in about 7 minutes, so he will not get his name on the board or fail second grade.

I didn’t even want to blog about this tonight, but thought, if he can overcome the torturous bean, I should tell his tale. I didn’t include the recipe or all of the pics – maybe later.  This Picky Pack’s Pinterest Party was NOT pretty!  Hopefully, tomorrow will be better!

(Thank God that I have a dinner meeting tomorrow and Jerry is in charge.  I think I might leave him with spinach 🙂  )


3 Responses to “Tales of the Torturous Green Bean”

  1. Jen A January 9, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

    Aww, Jen, way to hang tough! Tomorrow night, we drink! You want red or white? Or do you have a favorite bottle. LMK

  2. Andrea January 9, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    I love this! I can picture Kole while reading it and I just crack up. Way to hang tough and win the bean war!

  3. Megan B January 9, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

    Way to hang in there….I know how hard that is. It will stink for a few months but once he knows the fits won’t get him what he wants and he is more used to the healthy food, it will be much better. Send him over for sardines, sushi and spinach anytime!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: